What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

What is the reason for the high number of stray dogs in Thailand? What measures are being taken to address this issue?

What do you mean son?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you think the beginning of movies is often better than the rest of the film? Is this a common opinion or do others share this view?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Do you know what she said mum?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why are Capri cigarettes so expensive?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do you think Lady Gaga and Celine Dion have rehearsed separately for their performance at the Olympics opening ceremony?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!